So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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