Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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