my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Two words: blizzard sex
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize