You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
