You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize