elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
