God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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