I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
