You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize