My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
