Define "chronic" masturbator.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
