i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I'm passing your future prison.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
