two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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