yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
