I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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