i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
id be glad to
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Dicks are not precious.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
