i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
