I am in a vortex of obligation.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize