Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
