So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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