Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
