Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
