someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
