How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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