so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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