Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
