I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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