Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Randomize
