Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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