So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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