I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
