Just fell off a train. Bad.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
and she was petting her beer can
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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