We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
