I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
