She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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