Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
