im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
