I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
