Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
