u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
