She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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