You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize