tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize
