Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
