I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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