i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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