i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
your like the ambassador to my penis.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
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