Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
