How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
