Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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