in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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