all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
