they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
