Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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