she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
