omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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