Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
