Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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