she looked like the bat from fern gully.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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