is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
