do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
soo... how was my night?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize