I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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