So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
