Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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