I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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