If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
